A Bee-Latted Krissmas


We wish yoo all belatted Krissmass wishus! We wud haf dun it on time, but Mom got appendy-situs, and spent the Hollyday in hospeetul. We are furry happy she is home now.
Meowy Krissmass, and peeece to the wurld!


A Day Off

I desided to take the dae off tooday. I am furry turred frum un-decurating the treeee, and Mom has bin surt of stingy wif the gooh-gahs, wich nurmally keeep meee going. In pro-test, I'm sleeeping an not cuddling wif Mom.

Hopefully, that willl teech hur!


Sum Olde Crissmuss Fotos

These are cuppil fotos uf Tuggers, my Mom's furst Purshun kittie. He luffed Crissmass an dressing up, an he wus furry fotogeneric.

He wus furry speshul to Mom. She went thru sum awfull depreshun, an he safed hur frum hurting hurself.


Luky, Luky, Luky!

  1. Luky how pritty I cun be! Mom an Dad got a new camra fur Crissmass, an Dad tuk this wunnerful picher uf me. I luv siting unner the treee an peeeking thru the lites. I gess weer lukky we still haf lectrisity. We had a hooge sturm, an over a million howses lost thare power. We ar nice an warm an cuddly, an all the lites on the treee get to stay on all the time.
  2. Weer pretty prowd of Bean. We herd hur hurling, an she acchuly hurled on a plait insted uf the carpot. That is sumthing that deserfs some extra gooh-gahs!



My Mom has bin crying a lot this mourning. She wuz furry sad to heer abowt Libby. Mom cant hanndel deth furry well, speshuly kittie deth. She thinks uf all hur speshul kittie frends frum hur life, an rememburs how much joy an luv she has gottun frum them. Hur kitties haf saved hur life menny times.
Libby an all uther kitties will remembered always.


Thursday Thirteen!

Sock munkey
The lights
The Tree Skirt- gud place to stage mouse toy flights
Dad's Star Trek Enterprise- compleet with scarry message frum Spock
Ornament boxxes
Anything espensive
Hanging window lites
Carmen Miranda glitteree fishie
Shiny rownd baall
Drippee beed ornuments
Blown glasss kitties
Shinny, glitteree garlunds
Christmas is grate!


Torti Tuesday

This is Bean-In -A-Bag. She iz a Torti, but itz hard tu tell wen she dresses up in a bag fur speshul days. She is weerd.


Gud Kittie

I havn't blogged lately. I been beeing a gud kittie fur my Mom. She has had a bowt wif "depresshun." It makes hur feel down an owt, an it's mi reponsibilty tu sit wif hur an purr, and lik, an reech owt mi paws to hur. It takes a reel smart kittie to accept this mishun, an I take it reel seeriously. I'm not leeving hur alone eefun fur a minnit. That's mi duty. Beefor blogging.


Thursday Thirteen # 4

Thursday Thirteen-

Thirteen Resons I Like My Paws

  1. They are furry beootiful.
  2. I can scratch itchy spots with them.
  3. I can swipe The Others food wif them.
  4. I can maek feeding tuubs from de fud bags with them.
  5. I can throw water wif them.
  6. They can play wif fev-ver toys wif them.
  7. I can paw at Mom with them.
  8. Nice nails!
  9. I can write my blog.
  10. I can hit The Others.
  11. They let me run reel fast and dangerously.
  12. I can fight my way out of loked boxes with them.
  13. I am able to knock lots of priceless tings ofur with them.


Torti Tuesday # 2

It's Torti Tuesday! Heer iz Been laying in a hamok she maed. She likes tu slepe in weerd places.


Sum Cat Hiku

Tuday I haf sum cat hiku (haiku- ed.) fur yu. It is abowt hare.

I wud haf thot yu'd
Thank me fur geting sick where
Yu cud not see it.

I wate fur yu tu
Cleen the rugs. Hak! Hak! Heer:
My best hareball to date.

Ooops: anuther hare
Ball. Surry; gess I'm haffing
A bad hare ball day.

Sumtimes wen I'm bored
I hunch up an luk ill just
To maek yu nerfus.


Mom's Burthday

Mom's burthday is Sunday, an I here she's havun a bunch uf peple ofur. I'm scard uf peple that arnt my own. I am planing to spend a lot uf time under de Safety Chair. I'm nut letting Mom hide any uf hur stuf under dere (she calls thet "cleening up".) Mebbe she'll leef de cumputer out, en I can rite. I dout it. Mebbe she'll poot de computer unner my Safety Chair. Rite.
Dis also meens dat I wil haf tu hold in my bafrum activitees. Nut gud, but better dan seeing peple dat arnt my own.


Thursday Thirteen- # 3

It's time for Thursday Thirteen #3. Mom tuk dis picfur uf 13 uf my fafurite toys!


Cleaning Mom

Mom decided she wus going to clene howse today. I had to spend a lot of time under the Safety Chair to protect mysulf. Since Kitten an Bean hurl all the time, Mom pulls out this awful snake-hissything she calls a "stemer." It spews out hot, wet air, and then clenes all our hard wurk. Meen, meen Mommy. She got all swetty, ha-ha.
In the end, she appeesd us with sum nu orgasmic treets frum tradr jos. It wurked, an now we are happy agin.


Mourning This Afternoon

We are very sad today. Our Mom's sister's kittie passed away. The vet diagnosed her with inoperable lung cancer. Oopsie was a remarkable 23 years old, the oldest kittie I ever knew of. She didn't like anyone but her mom (she even chased Mom's brother around the house- brave kittie!)
She will always be with us, and she is now with all our friends that we have lost.


Vishus Sea-Animules

Skeezix an his frends have bin bringing the problem of Vishus Deer in2 the 4front, a very importunt public survis. I wud lik to ad Vishus Sea-Animules as a furry weel thret to kitties.

When me Mom un Dad got a salebote, there wus talk uf Kitty Life Jakets so we cud join them on du watur (luckily, dat talk died down reul qwik.) I'm glad, becuz I hid under the Safety Chair and evesdroped on one of deir convursashuns, and I was affwaid, furry affwaid. Haf your paws ready to put offur your eyes- these aren't pwetty.

In de sea, thare are fish made out of jelly, and the jelly can sting yu! EEEEK. Mom an Dad see thum all the time!

Den deir are the world's biggust Octopi here, an I think they are called Octopuss's. Oh, my. Dey haf 8 legs, an are furry smart. Are they related to Pussy Cats? I think an hope not.

Ratfish- dose are sort uf self-explanatory, but I don't think I want to catch one- effun fur my Mom.

Hear is a sea-woofie, a wolf-fish. U'd think U wudn't haf to watch out for woofies under da water!

Okay, here is the wurst an most shocking (the hair on my ears is standing up strate!) there ar sharks here! I'm so scared! To think that Mom an Dad are out there... I cun only hope their will is updated, an dat we are well provided fur!

So, Fellow Felines, beware of Vishus Deer an Vishus Sea-Animules!


Go To Jail, Go Directly To Jail

Cecilia asked why I like going to jail- here's the story. When I first joined the cat kingdom, The Others were not-so-happy. They locked me under a chair upstairs, and wouldn't let me go downstairs. They had Feline-Power that I was unable to break. After a long time, they allowed me to go downstairs, and I was finally able to eat and wee in the big rooms.

After some time, I found a hidden power that I could lord over Kitten. It was a turning point! I simply had to get in his face, and he would get all upset and move backwards- I didn't even have to lay a paw on him! As I perfected my power, I was able to back him around the perimeter of the living room. Mom started getting worried that the old Kitten would get a stress-related Kitten heart attack. She tried yelling at me; didn't work- she tried picking me up and putting me somewhere else to interrupt my power; didn't work either.

In our old (1906) house, we had a dining room that was connected to the living room by French doors, and the doors were kept shut to keep us out. Mom finally got so frustrated with my power that she said, "That's it, you're going to jail!" She opened the doors and threw me in the dining room. I liked it.

When she let me out, I went right back to utilizing my power. Same consequence. After awhile, I picked on Kitten just so I could go to jail. I would use my power and then go and sit in front of the doors. If Mom wouldn't get off her lazy butt, the routine would be repeated. I finally skipped using my power and would just sit and wait to be thrown into jail. I liked to stare out through the lace while Kitten and Sprankeltje would stare at me from the living room.

I miss our old house.


Thursday Thirteen- 26 October 2006

Thirteen Things I Love-

1. My computer

2. My crinkly tunnel that I can ambush The Others from

3. My Mom's blood pressure machine, especially the jiggly rubber air hose

4. Going to jail

5. Having conversations, even if they are with myself

6. Looking out the front window, and knowing Mom has the front decorated better than anyone else

7. Being combed until I have only my guard hairs left

8. Having my tummy rubbed. God, I just LOVE that!

9. Reading other kitties' blogs

10. Mom caving in and letting me do things that Dad won't let me

11. Admiring the extremely handsome cat in the bathroom mirror

12. Cleaning my butt

13. Getting the first wee when Mom changes the litter boxes


Strolling, Strolling Over The Sidewalk Grey

I've been reading all these-there posts from cats that have their own stroller. I'm starting to think that may a fun way to go. I've been sticking my nose in my Mom's face, licking her face, and whispering "stroller, stroller" into her ears, hoping that I will brainwash her with my superior feline powers.
My will will be realized!


Torti Tuesday 1

I guess today is Torti Tuesday. Bean is not sure what exactly to do on this day, so she decided to post a picture of herself hiding.
You can't see her, can you?
Happy Torti Tuesday!


The Things About Cats

Cats hang out with witches quite a lot;
that's not it.
The things about cats is
they're always looking at you.
Especially when you're asleep.

Some cats pretend they're not looking
until you're not looking.
They are not to be trusted.

Some cats scowl because the're wearing
imitation fur. They feel inferior.

Some other cats look at you straight on
so that you can't drink your drink
or make love
but keep thinking
that cat's loking at me straight on.

But all cats do the same
they look at you
and you look out
and in.

A cat is not a conscience; I'm not
saying that.

What I'm saying is
why are they looking?

~~ John L'Heureux


I'm on Cat Blogosphere!

Hey, thanks to Merlin, we're on Cat Blogosphere! Check it out. I'm so excited that I have to take a nap. Mom gave me some goo-gaws (the slim-fast variety) to celebrate. I'm also a little nervous with the increased exposure- I've got flutterbies in my beautiful cream-color tummy!
Now I'm hoping that Mom will give us a little Matanuska Thunderstrike Catnip for a reward for our hard work. The Thunderstrike packs a particularly hard punch that makes my skin ripple!


My Name Is Sprankeltje, And I Am A Cat

Bean wrote this about herself-
Hi, my name is Sprankeltje, which means "Little Sparkle" in Dutch. I am a Calico, and therefore weird. I was adopted from the Humane Society when I was 6 weeks old. The Humane Society had just started spaying/neutering animals before they could leave the shelter, so I had some stitches on my belly. I had an amazingly loud voice for my size- in fact I had been left at the shelter because I was "too loud." When I arrived at my new home, I just had to run up the stairs, which I had never seen before. I made it most of the way up before I went tumbling down ass over teakettle. Mom was wailing about my stitches, but they remained intact.
I was weird from the get-go. I didn't like people being nice to me- I enjoyed abuse. I wanted to be dropped upside down on chairs, being stuffed in a bag and twirled around and being pounded on. If I purred, it was purely against my will, and it meant that my body was betraying me.
I also love water. I pat it with my paws, splash around and put my paw in it and drag the dish out into the middle of the floor so Mom can step in it- it just never gets old. I love getting baths, and sit like a lump in the tub.
My nick-name "Bean" came from "String Bean" because I had long skinny legs. Those days are gone. I am guided by the hunt for constant food. I walk like an armadillo, with my back humped up. I am a stealth-eater, and I will sit immobile over a dish so that it looks like I'm not really eating. Fools them every time. Mom always says that I don't really look very bright (like I can't even hear her!) Apparently I have no pupils and I'm always looking at nothing. I have a really hard time focusing on what is happening directly around me. I like to sit in a corner and stare into it.
As time wore on (I'm now 10 years old) I began to re-think the kindness angle, but in a weird S&M-kind-of-way. I found I really, really like to be spanked, and that it was wonderful to purr while getting spanked. When visitors come over, I will approach them and assume the position to be spanked. It makes Mom sort of uncomfortable, and it's hard to explain to the poor visitors. I guess in proper society spanking is frowned upon. I'm not that smart.

It's time for me to go put my head into Mom's purse and sleep.
Yes, I like to do that.


It's Coming!

It's coming! Halloween!!!! Time for all black and orange cats to run amuck and be happy! Time for my favorite treats- deodorant, toothpaste, french fries, sunblock and perfume. I am SO looking forward to it. Mom has a bunch of pumpkins on the front porch waiting to be carved into cat-friendly sculptures, and she promised me that I can try roasted pumpkin seeds to see if I can add them to my favorites list.

What are your favorite treats?